Based on John Townsend’s book “Hiding From Love”, these twelve, short videos (less than 20 min each) walk through the main concepts, which include other resources and Bible passages to apply the concepts to our lives. When one of the four parts of our soul gets damaged or hurt, we should withdraw in order to prepare our heart to re-engage relationally, otherwise we become isolated and limited because the damaged part is unavailable to be healed, mature and grow.
Part 1 of 12
by Lee Boger
Attachment is important to God – It’s who he is. Everything in creation from ecosystems, animal and marine food chains and the 40 week gestation period for humans is meant to connect and depend on each other. Injury usually comes from a relationship where trust has been broken or a deficit occurs because a person has never experienced this level of emotional intimacy.
What if this need for attachment is a deficit in your life? You find yourself isolated emotionally and relationally from others. It’s usually a result from one of two things:
(1) Relational hurts that have not healed or
(2) You have never experienced it.
Do you have one or several loving, “safe” relationships where you can be transparent and still feel loved and accepted? (other than a dog…)
In order to compensate for the attachment need not being met, we develop hiding patterns, which are helpful to protect us from further hurts and damage, but can be harmful if left in place for a long time.
Separateness allows us to become a person with their own will, opinions, boundaries and an accurate sense of responsibility. This injury may be caused by enmeshment struggles, abuse or parental failure to encourage separation.
Boundaries help us identify “ownership”, which clarifies what is ours and what isn’t. Clear boundaries are the gateway to a loving heart. Remember that a boundary isn’t about telling someone else what to do; it’s about deciding what you will do. Without healthy boundaries, we develop hiding patterns that keep us from living as separate adults.
We have a need to accept the bad parts of ourselves and of the world. It’s important because it helps us bring our own badness to a place of forgiveness and have a realistic understanding of a fallen world. If we fail to keep our “badness” in relationships, that is with God and safe people, then it remains unforgiven and broken.
Some people have not experienced sufficient grace to be assured that they will not lose attachment if their faults are exposed.
Being made in God’s image allows us to see the good and perfect design, but knowing “good and evil” also frustrates us to not experience that perfect world all the time.
We have a need to become adults and be comfortable with authority, which includes a mature view of personal power, expertise, responsibility, appropriate submission, sexuality and the ability to think independently.
We have a need to become adults and be comfortable with authority. In this module, we are going to look at how this need can be damaged from being raised in a home where there was an improper use of authority, such as too strict, too lenient or just inconsistent.
A “Soul Injury” is a wound to our sense of self and stifles our full potential because it separates us from who we are meant to be. The person God created us to be. So how do we go about healing a soul injury?
We should withdraw to safe, loving people with God-centered values, so that the heart can prepare for reattachment. If we don’t reattach, the injured part isolates itself and stays in an emotional prison, broken and immature.
Safe people have a continual flow of grace with the courage to tell us the truth. As a cast protects the tissues while the bone heals, the painful, physical therapy afterwards is needed to fully restore the body.
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